Fla-Shop: Warnings and Language Barriers

I was looking for an interactive USA map for a client last week, something on short notice, something in Flash that I could buy the bare bones of and tweak to add specific functionality. After some digging, I found Fla-Shop.com. The site's a little busy, a little confusing, but after fishing around for a little bit, I found a functioning Flash app that looked like it fit the bill. After reading the description, I purchased the zip file for $69.

After purchasing the file, I quickly realized they were not selling me the FLA Flash source file, just the compiled SWF file that can be modified by pre-programmed elements through an XML file.

The store is called Fla-Shop. The description of the product states that no source file programming is required. But nowhere does it state that the FLA file is not included. So now I have a Flash app that I either need to convince my client to get less than he wants or eat $69.

I emailed Fla-Shop with this problem and they backed up their good name with the following:

It can be compared about name Microsoft. The word "micro" is
meaningful "very small". During too time products from company
Microsoft become more and more big (by quantity of megabytes).

Of course, this argument makes no sense. I'm saying I entered Boxes, Etc. and when I bought one I got a picture of a box and he's saying I should be disappointed when I enter Pac Sun and the Pacific Ocean is not there. And needless to say, there is a language barrier here.

So Fla-Shop falls into the Questionable Business category:

• they are not really selling what their name says they're selling
• if you somehow magically knew you were supposed to search for an FLA source file, you'd have to search
• the website is confusing
• and "customer support" will blame you for having unreasonable expectations and invalidly argue that point with etymology of a language they don't fully grasp.

But I'm not entirely without blame. I was in a hurry, frustrated by the site, and didn't take the time to explore every corner. I also assumed that "Fla-Shop" would be selling me an FLA file.

Lesson? As always, caveat emptor. If you have even the tiniest of inklings that something is not conveyed correctly or the least question about a product, it is always worth the time to contact someone and clarify the issue. And never, never assume when your money's on the line.

Affordable Muffler Scam Game

Today we're discussing:

Affordable Muffler Inc
13130 Lorain Ave
Cleveland, OH 44111

Two years ago, we had a bad catalytic converter in the '99 CRV and had it replaced with an aftermarket piece. Peace of mind? The owner's signature under the handwritten words "5 year warranty."

A while back we had a rattle and soon after a check light and had it checked out: catalytic converter failure (the rattle was a piece of the converter dancing around in the tailpipe). Since we can't just drop everything and drive into Cleveland at a moment's notice, it took some time to get up there. Three weeks ago I took it back to Affordable Muffler with the original, hand-signed receipt. Mr. Owner's response? The converter has melted down and his warranty does not cover meltdown. It's running too rich; take it to a dealership and get the engine fixed, but no free converter either way.

So we took it to a Honda dealership with all the pomp and circumstance that that entails and they said exactly what we knew: the converter sucks, is falling apart, and there is absolutely nothing else wrong with the engine - no rich, no lean, no problem.

Then we returned to Cleveland with this dealership-endorsed revelation and the man in charge at Affordable Muffler was stone-faced: It's melted down; my warranty does not cover meltdown. Seeing as the warranty was a signature on a piece of paper, how were we to know? "I'm telling you right now," he stated rather gruffly.

If there's nothing wrong with the engine, then the failure of the catalytic converter is the cause in and of itself of any further fall-apart or meltdown, since a check engine light switches up the programming and dumps extra fuel which could cause extra heat. But the converter is and was the only thing wrong. Besides that, a catalytic converter should certainly not fail in only two years.

Affordable Muffler, you win a Bad Business Award for providing
poor quality parts, shady service, and a warranty on whatever terms you decide at the time. For shame.

HMS Home Warranty: How to Cook a Client

How are you? Sorry I haven't been here like I promised. I'll make it up to you - I know, I know, but Daddy's been busy with a new house and all; just sing the Wal-Mart is the Devil song...

This is another one filed under "Here's an example, but use it as a warning for all industry" (see banks, credit cards, cell phone providers).


Note: In the following account, Sibcy Cline Realtors and Fast Fixes Home Services are mentioned, but they are exemplary of quality customer service. Only HMS Home Warranty has the certificate to lick the sweat off my ....

I'm sweating my ass off right now. Really. The rivulets are having a "Clothes Soaking Party" on my shirt and in my pants. And HMS Home Warranty is letting this happen.

As some readers know, I moved to the lovely city of Cincinnati last month. I love the town. I love the house: it's 60 years old or so, plenty of character, and a good home warranty should anything go bad. The home warranty was purchased from HMS Home Warranty (Homesure Services, Inc.).

The tale: Thursday afternoon, our central air wasn't central airing the way it should. By the evening, the thermostat was set at 72F, but the temperature was 81F. The next morning, the situation had not improved, so it was time to call HMS. I get up before 6am so I made the call and the claim was taken in, totally automated. I got a phone number and left a message on an answering machine that said "Due to the immense number of repair calls...." Danger Will Robinson: That's not a good sign.

On Friday, Cincinnati was hot, pushing 90's, humidity flourishing, and it was not comfortable. As a home worker, it sucked. A couple hours into the day, I called HMS again to make sure something was going on. I asked for another provider. And through another phone call (explaining that I really needed something done because the weekend was approaching - when most services would be unreachable) and a couple hours later, I actually got them to call a service company to come out Fast Fixes. The service provider said: I've got good news and bad news. Good news: you'll save some electricity this weekend. Bad news: your condenser's shot.

Since I was not expecting much movement on the weekend, I let Friday disappear, Saturday sweat, and Sunday singe.

Monday morning I called (gist only)

Me: So, what's going on?
HMSHW: Oh, we've got the information...
Me: Okay
HMSHW: It's going to take some time
Me: Can you expedite it?
HMSHW: We'll expedite it. It may take up to 24 hours.
Me: Huh? You realize there's a heat warning out.
HMSHW: It's hot everywhere, sir.
Me: I have a daughter and wife and myself who can't sleep for sweat and animals who are miserable if not in danger.
HMSHW: We understand.

I'd love to go through blockquote conversations for the whole process, but heat makes me impatient, so I'm going to bullet it.

• Monday
  - Call 2: What's going on? "It's not through purchasing yet." Make it so. "We'll do what we can." I need to talk to someone else. "Someone else" (Chuck) says he'll take care of it.
  - Callback: What's going on? "You're OK'd for a replacement, but Fast Fixes gave us information, we're trying to verify it, doing research, and it doesn't match exactly. They'll have to come out again."


• Monday - Fast Fixes comes out again at 5pm, looks at the unit, verifies their previous information.


• Tuesday
  - 5:30am to HMSHW: What's going on? "They never called us back." Fine.
  - 6am to Fast Fixes: What's going on? No one called. "We called them as soon as we were done, specifically had to call someone back, left Chuck a voicemail."
  (Note: Chuck gets off at 5.)
  - 6:30am to HMSHW: They called you, left a message with Chuck. "We can't access Chuck's voicemail, but we'll put a note in to Chuck so he'll call you back."
  - 9:30am to HMSHW: What's up with Chuck? "I can't actually reach him, but I'll put in a note to have a supervisor call you in the next 2-4 hours"
  - 12:00pm to HMSHW: What's up with Chuck? "You were told..." No, I need this resolved. (hold) "He's just cleared his voicemail and is now working on your claim."
  - 2:30pm to HMSHW: What's up with Chuck? "He's still working on your claim." I need to speak to him. and...voicemail.
  - 3:00pm to HMSHW: "Chuck doesn't speak to homeowners." WTF?
  - 3:30pm I got the number and called the Sibcy Cline rep at HMSHW and she was aghast, said she'd help.
  - 4:50pm called the rep again and she said she couldn't access the file because it was locked. But it's been worked on since noon! Again, aghast.
  - 5:05 to HMSHW: Need to speak to a supervisor. "I can't locate a supervisor." Then try again. Put me on hold. And if it takes ten minutes, I'll call back and we'll do it all over again. "Chuck's finishing it up." Not good enough. I want a supervisor. Super: "We're doing things as quickly as possible...blah blah bullshit bullshit." Can you have the service company call me today? "Yes." Then that'll have to do.

And that's where we're at.

Bug bug bug until you hear something satisfactory, because right now I have to tell my daughter why she's going to have to sweat through the evening again, probably not get so much sleep.

Pain on them.

For the record, Fast Fixes and Sibcy Cline have been nothing but wonderful in the process. HMSHW is the devil.

Updates, official complaints, and responses will follow. But right now, I'm too sweaty, to angry to continue.