Fifth Third: Still Raping!

I own a small business. This means I have a business banking account. That account is at 5/3 (Fifth Third) Bank. Overall, they're not any better or worse than any other bank. Basically, they'll try to turkey baster money out your rear any chance they get.

So in today's world of electronic files and internets and "Why not check your statements online?" it appears that this is yet another way to screw the customer. As it is past the end of the year, I was online downloading my banking records into Excel format to process the numbers more efficiently. But something weird was happening: I couldn't pull any numbers before July. Hrm?

Well, Fifth Third Bank only allows customers access to 6 months of records online. So I called customer service. What's their deal? Well, they can knock through 18 months over the phone no problem. But they'd be happy to print out and mail or fax the first six months of paper statements to me for the small fee of $8 per.

WTF?

So the rundown is: If you subscribe to the "green" method of checking your statements online and save Fifth Third a little extra moulah in materials and printing and postage, they will return the favor by making sure you have to pay them $50 at the end of the year. You're welcome!

Granted, you can just download or print out your information every month. But I didn't know that 6 months ago when the information would've helped.

No huge rage or surprise, just another way a bank can turn a little allotment that could increase service incredibly into a way to put a buck in their pocket and making you feel dirty.

Fifth Third Bank - Bad Business, February 2002

I, like many others in this country, play the check game. You know: my direct deposit hits tonight at midnight, so I can get gas this afternoon instead of coasting on fumes until early morning tomorrow.

It was just such an assumption that nailed me (appropriately), and gave us reason to mistrust the big 5/3.

Having made the exact decision concerning gas as noted above, I received a call from my landlord saying that the check he received that day couldn't be cashed against my account. "The bank says that your available balance is ..., and your ledger balance is ...."

My first thought was "Why the hell is my landlord cashing my check against my account?" My second thought was confirmed with a few clicks of the mouse: "How did he get the amounts, to the penny, that I have in my account?"

My landlord ended up cashing the check the next day, but said that he had received the numbers from the bank.

He went to the bank to see if the check could be cashed. The bank's computers were down, so they called the branch down the street to run the numbers.

I wrote a letter of complaint to the primary branch, the branch phoned, and the regional headquarters elucidating my disapproval at my landlord knowing exactly how much money was in my personal bank account. I received a letter of apology with some story about how my landlord must have overheard the teller repeating the numbers as she received them by phone. Sounds hokey to me.

After a few phone calls and some research, I had a copy of the federal statute that was violated in this case. Unfortunately, I had no recourse because the violation of personal privacy detailed in the statute had no fee attached to it, and no case history to back a fee. And a lawyer won't touch a virgin statute with a stack of law books.