All Business, Good & Bad

Sometimes, an awful consumer experience. Let's call them out. Okay, mostly. But sometimes awards. Yes? All the accounts are truthful. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike. Email me with your stories and I'll include them.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Bad Wording - Buying a Home

I'm moving up to Cincinnati with the family and we're looking for a home. We've been through the buying process once already (after having looked in Ohio) and have upstarted twice after selling that. So this is our fifth go-around. We've seen our fair share of horror.

But right now we're where any computer-savvy fam/person starts: the internets.

If you've ever searched online for a home (in the format of having a realtor [realtor comes up as misspelling on Firefox 2.0? WTF?] and a full-access account to home listings, search capability, and comparison neighborhoods, etc.), you know you have the main list of stats, most of the time accompanied by pictures, but always with a paragraph of copy to help elaborate on what can't be said by simply looking at pictures or statistics. This, usually, is effervescent hyperbole.

Last week we were looking and found this paragraph of fabulous, time-saving description copy for a home listing:
LOCATION! LOCATION! Home was used as Barber shop and Dog grooming business. Prime spot on Dixie Highway next to Aldi. Seventy feet of road frontage. Great Oppurtunity (sic).
I don't think I have to go very far with descriptions. Let's bullet the high points:
  • LOCATION!
  • Barber shop
  • Dog grooming business
  • Directly on a ("Dixie") Highway
  • Aldi
  • Aldi in retrospect of LOCATION!
  • "Opportunity" in retrospect of Aldi and LOCATION!
You'll be diggin' dog and people crud out of your corners for years to come! Have a pet? Have a kid? Ever see Pet Sematary? Yeah, kinda like that.

Good Lord. In shopping for a home, I'm sure there's more to come.

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